“If nothing saves us from death, at least love should save us from life”. – anonymous
Love, has been with us from the beginning of humankind, it has played a vital role in our survival, but do we truly, understand the meaning of love? Are all of us, living an infatuation and nothing else? , hang in there with me for a while to find out, I may be wrong but my thoughts are open for interpretations.
According to me, we all are living a misguided and vague image of love, our brain works very diligently in every task, it solves the most complex queries but for some reason, it fails to question its ways in the Matter of love.
WHAT OUR BRAIN DOES WHEN IT’S IN LOVE
Love affects our brain directly, every situation in our relationship has an impact on our brain. When in love, neurochemicals like dopamine and oxytocin reach our brains in areas responsible for pleasure and rewards, producing physical and psychological responses like less perceived pain, an addictive dependence, and a stronger desire for someone, it also makes you feel more or less stressed than usual, depending on the stage of your relationship. The sense of attachment and the feeling of love also lowers your blood pressure and you feel butterflies in your stomach. You also feel addicted to the person you are in a relationship with.
This is a very serious issue in the domain of relationships. Most of the bonds are a result of infatuation. So what is infatuation?, It is a strong feeling of passion for someone but a short period, this happens mainly due to the appearance of the person or their personality, sarcasm etc.
This short term feeling is soo strong that you start to think that you love the person i.e “you fool yourself in falling for a person”. But infatuation doesn’t always end up bad. In some cases because of the infatuation you tend to learn more about the person and you end up falling in love with that person for real and the relationship lasts forever, but as the positive aspects of this situation are low in comparison to the negative aspects. Hence this issue should be addressed as a threat to us.
Most of us have been through a heartbreak. It’s the most awful situation to be in, this is the phase of life where you realize the mistakes you did or the mistakes you overlooked. You come across every instance, where you should’ve stepped back. The major reason for the break-up is infatuation. As soon as this short term feeling diminishes the attachment you had also gets decreased. As a result, you find Love in someone else. Now you either cheat or you find reasons for the break-up
Breakup changes your neural transmission, you start to feel dejected, and sad you lose appetite. Your brain goes in a craving mode which wants your ex back since breakups are not usually logical therefore your brain also finds reasons for the separation.
IMPACT OF CINEMA
Cinema has always impacted our lifestyle. We follow the trends. We also apply the love formulae shown in movies, but we have never questioned the moral base of these movies. Bollywood has fed us with nothing more than crap in the name of love. Many dialogues, scenes, and screenplay are a matter of questioning. Movies show the most atrocious love scenarios and we believe them.
“The hero is the most perfect man in the whole universe. He cannot do anything bad. The girl firstly doesn’t love the guy but on instigation, she is mad about him. The hero saves the girl from the villain who is a born rapist, in the end, they live happily ever after”. The whole idea of perfection sold by cinema is wrong, due to this young minds draw an image of there dream partner as ripped, macho, handsome and Jolly or curvy, lavish, lovely, etc. Because of this, we run for perfection, for a perfect partner, and a perfect relationship.
PERFECTION IS A LIE
“Nobody is perfect it’s your perception about a person that makes them perfect for you”. Yes everyone fights and everyone has differences. Everyone is perfect in their way Irrespective of their caste, creed, colour and personality. The wrong image of your partner that you have drawn will only give you disappointment. I am not saying that wanting is bad but get this in your head that,” The world is not that perfect as you imagine it to be”.
Social media has also driven your mind towards the trash. How often do you come across these posts which say, ” girls like boys who….”, Or, “boys like girls who”, these posts hit your insecurities you tend to believe that to get the attention of the opposite gender you need to perfect .”You become someone who is acting to be someone else while only you know who you truly are..”
Love doesn’t always mean romantic or sexual feelings. You should know the person very well, you should share every aspect of your life good or bad with them. Getting in a relationship too early based on their lifestyle, appearance leads you to your bad. If you’ll go looking for love you’re never going to find it. Don’t come into a relationship for the heck of it.
Be friends with everyone, connect with people, and if you gain feelings for a person then try to know them better, share all your thoughts. It might not work out then also, but don’t worry at least you saved yourself from heartbreak. Love needs time and commitment lack of any of these two can cause blunders.
Love, at first sight, is a total messed up concept, it doesn’t exist, it is just attraction. It doesn’t happen in a click of a second. Do not believe what the world tells you about love. Don’t believe me either, believe in your inner self cause you can’t lie to yourself.
Don’t think too much about love, let it do everything and you just go with the flow. Doing everything right connecting with the right person and sharing a strong bond can also have disputes. But if your love is true and not an infatuation then you’ll never have differences in the closing points I’ll say that the world is vast with different people, it offers an infinite variety. You should not search for the right person let them come to you.
There will be a point when you’ll realise that a person is perfect for you. At that point of time you are in love, always express every emotion you feel and say every word you feel like saying.